Ways to Feel More Connected

Connection can be a tricky thing to navigate these days.

We live in a time when meeting or getting to know other people (especially as adults) can be challenging. A lack of friends or not feeling connected to a community can make us feel lonely and discouraged.

But the solutions for this dilemma are ready and available. Best of all, opportunities for connection are all around you. Really.

Because we have been trained to look to others to provide so many of our essential feelings like happiness, intimacy and being understood in big ways, we often miss beautiful opportunities right before our eyes.

It’s all about creating a welcoming atmosphere for people to connect with you.

The key elements of a welcoming atmosphere are a feeling of acceptance and being present in the moment.

If we have animals in our lives, they are some of the best and most generous partners in helping us understand how to create these elements more easily.

I love doing partnership activities with the animals in my life because, when done well, I am completely in the moment. I am focused on their movement, reactions and emotions. I am completely present. And when I am not, my animals let me know by responding in a way that shows their distraction, antsy feelings or even worry. They let me know I am not tuned in.

But when I am really there with them, a kind of magic happens. It feels so good to complete a training exercise with my dog or have a spontaneous moment of synchronicity with my horse during ground work. I feel we understand each other in a powerful way and can enjoy spending time together.

This is how people can feel with you when they have your full attention. When you are really listening to them. It can make them feel connected and important.

However, sometimes my bid for connection with my horse or my dog isn’t always readily received. Sometimes my animals express their preferences or emotions that day. Both horses and dogs (and people!) are sensitive creatures. They respond to changes in their environment and have both good and challenging days. In those instances when achieving connection is a bit more challenging, they gently share with me one of the most valuable lessons.

My animals help me practice acceptance.

Acceptance is the beginning of connection. When I can accept how my animals react to me without taking it personally, I am practicing a skill that can transfer to my human relationships. And I get to practice acceptance in a completely non-judgmental space. If I fumble at that moment and become frustrated, my animals forgive me. They give me another chance.

By accepting my animals for who they are that day, it’s also an invitation to accept myself in all my joys and strengths and imperfections. It’s unrealistic to expect perfection, as if we were machines. When I can give grace to myself, I can readily respond to bids for connection everyday.